When you’re first developing your writing skills, there can be a lot of advice and techniques to keep track of! “Filtering” is an essential writing term that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle, but which all new writers should be aware of. Knowing when to use it and when to avoid it can be a secret weapon that levels up your prose.
If this is a new term to you, don’t panic — we’ll take you through everything you need to know.
What is filtering, anyway?
Filtering refers to the use of unnecessary sensory words which the writer uses to funnel an experience through their point-of-view character. This includes things like He saw, She heard, They felt, She noticed, He realised, and so forth. Filtering holds the reader at a distance, and sacrifices some of the immediacy and emotional connection in the scene.
Even experienced writers sometimes let filtering slip into their work. But if you know how to identify it, it’s easy to trim out during revision. By doing so, your story will become more visceral and engaging.
Some examples of filtering language
To show you what this looks like, here are a few examples of filtering in a story, with easy fixes.
❌ He heard a sudden knock at the door.
✅ There was a sudden knock at the door.
❌ She noticed that his eyes had golden flecks in them.
✅ His eyes had golden flecks in them.
❌ He saw smoke rising in the distance.
✅ Smoke rose in the distance.
❌ She saw the gun in his hand, and wondered if he would really use it.
✅ He had a gun in his hand. Would he really use it?
❌ He heard shouts coming from outside.
✅ Shouts were coming from outside.
❌ She knew this was going to be a mistake.
✅ This was a mistake.
❌ As the rollercoaster plummeted, he felt his stomach lurch.
✅ His stomach lurched as the rollercoaster plummeted.
❌ He felt the warmth of the kitten curled against his chest.
✅ The kitten was warm against his chest.
In each of the unfiltered examples, it feels like you’re right there in the story. In the filtered examples, it’s more like someone’s telling you about it secondhand. The sensory language in the unfiltered prose really comes to life so that you can almost feel it in your own body.
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Should you ever use filtering in a story?
With all this in mind, you might be looking at your own writing and wondering if it’s ever okay to use filtering words. There are definitely a few instances in which filtering might be helpful. We’ll look at each of those below.
Head hopping
“Head hopping” occurs when a narrative briefly slips out of its point-of-view character’s eyes and into the thoughts or sensations of another character. Sometimes, a filtering word is the only way to keep your story’s point of view on track.
For example, imagine you’re telling a story from Jack’s point of view and he’s telling a story to his friend John. You might say “Jack could see that John was confused, so he quickly clarified.”
If you remove the filtering words, you’d have “John was confused, so Jack quickly clarified.” But this feels a bit like you’ve moved from the third-person limited perspective to a more omniscient perspective. Filtering can be useful when it keeps the narrative rooted in the character who’s telling the story.
Narrative focus
Sometimes, filtering can create a subtle shift in the emotional impact of a scene. In these cases, it’s about examining which usage best supports your story.
Consider these two examples:
Jack fell asleep listening to the sound of John’s fading heartbeat.
Jack fell asleep beside the sound of John’s fading heartbeat.
Honestly, they both work and you could use either one. The first example, counterintuitively, firmly roots the scene in Jack’s experience and what he’s going through in this moment. The second example is a little more implied than overtly stated; the reader’s left to interpret what this image means to Jack.
This is one rare instance in which filtering can actually deepen a connection to a character, rather than diluting it. When you’re trimming filter words in your revision, ask yourself if they add something extra to the way the reader perceives the scene.
Clarity and impact
Finally, there are times when removing a filter word can make the sentence a bit confusing to the reader. This is especially true when you’re working with complex settings or multiple characters.
Here are a few examples:
Jack didn’t hear the woman approach until she was standing right behind him.
He realised that John was still waiting for an answer.
He could hear the workers swearing on the other side of the wall.
None of these sentences quite work without the filtering language. If you’re struggling to remove a filter word and still have the sentence make sense to the reader, it may be a place where the filter word is serving a purpose.
Overall, filtering words tend to do more harm than good. They can make a scene feel diluted and unfocused, and remind the reader that they’re being told a story instead of living it. During revision, you can do a lot to improve your work by going through and trimming the filtering everywhere you can.
But at the same time, don’t struggle to cut useful filtering words in awkward ways just because it’s the “rule”. In each instance, ask yourself if the sentence would be stronger without it, or if it’s conveying important information to the reader.
Happy writing!
Fija Callaghan is an author, poet, and a content editor with The History Quill. She is also The History Quill’s community manager. Her work has been shortlisted and longlisted for a number of short story prizes, and you can find her writing in publications like Gingerbread House, Crow & Cross Keys, Corvid Queen, and Mythic Magazine. When not writing or helping other writers get the best out of their work, she can be found haunting her local bookshops or watching the tide come in.
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